Monday, December 4, 2006

the thing about movies is


that they can never kill anyone the whole plot of the film could be to kill the main character but still we stop and see that they can change we see them for the humans they are connect them to ourselves and cant let them die we become them and we cant die we cant believe that we will die all of you reading this you me my neighbors my neighbors neighbors will die we will all perish that is why you cant just work your whole life to try and and make up for that fun in the end you have to do what you want see what you want do what feels right im not talking about in any kind of moral way i mean that this world is too filled with people who are waiting to seee that life will come and sweep them off their feet into the sands of destiny where they can take all the sands of the desert and turn them into a glass sculpture of unfathomable beautythat there life or the life that they wanted the part that will mean the most to them will fit into a single paragraph in the conclusion of their story you have to wake up and go and do not recline stand up start running and go movies show us all these people we want to live beacause we want to live we want to live through them we want to be part of their triumph if even for a fading surreal moment a moment lived in the deepest darkest of our souls a part of us that not even we can see a part that we cant fool a part of us that dies each day we live and is born each day we get up a part of us that lives in the hope that one day we will do that which makes us human the thing that drives us the thing that we keep tucked away because it is so frail that if it broke we would have nothing so we do nothing we sit and play chess and watch movies in which we can let others almost lose but when they have it all out there it comes back to them we know that it is this part of us that we live for but we know that it would be hard maybe too hard for us to do maybe we still dream about it but it is just that a dream and so we live our lives to die some will love some will marry and have more children to face these same troubles but in the end wether alone or surrounded by family we come to an end we all will find ourselves breathing our last breathes with nothing to look back on but the choices we made wether we would change them or not it is done wether we tried to do what it was or not we will have to accept that there is nothing else we can do anymore and that finally we would have the courage if only we had the time to go live out the things that we most earnestly wanted but there are no more days and no more white horses there is nothing left to say but good bye and luck pass on what you can let go of what you can and die there is nothing left to do but die it is all of our fates each one of us must at some point face the nature of our own mortallity we must see that this world will kill us all and we can either spend the time we have waiting or we can spend it living we can give up or take charge of the time we have left the choice is ours so get busy livin or get busy dyin and kill the part of you thats stops the head way you need to be making because when it comes down to it we end.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

same shit different day



well i cant think of a name for my post yet i had a pretty good thankgiving except that the next day i got up my tounge's swollen my arms dislocated or i pulled the muscle well fuck it i dont want to talk about it other than that it has been a cake walk my illness is pissing off my boss though and thats kinda cool since she is the antichrist well im bored so see you lator

Thursday, November 23, 2006

the kids got alligator blood cant get rid of him



well i made a blog i decided that it would be good to do seeing as i forget my recent past quite often so now ill have an electronic record of the events that i have seen i am me i am the all singing all dancing crap of the world i am not a beautiful or unique snowflake i am just me i am trying to find the love of my life which i wont even get started on on my first blog but suffict to say that as often as i can ask those that would seem to have the traits i desire they can continue to say no its alright i guess but ireally am tring to find her she will be my world my princess the one thing in the world that brings me home at night and the one person that i feel safe around i really can only express a fraction of the love that i hope to find and have not yet had many bad experences with the whole dating seen well no one has really accepted my offer to go on a date so really all ive had to deal with is getting told no so hopefully i will not be too hurt by all of the shit that seems to surround this subject over and over again well lets see what else i love to cook i love to learn i love a good movie and im not talking about everybody going to see the 3rd star wars because it is going to be a good movie im talking about movies that make us or pose questions about the world arround us to see things in a different light see a world that maybe you have never even seen before the best by far is the shawshank redemption a classic an epic quest of good and evil of struggle and redemption of the innocent it introduces the idea of having to take responibility for the actions of others wether or not one is responable for those actions i feel that a truly great movie should not be watched but felt it is something that stirs your soul something that shows you that there is hope or that we might as well bury our heads in the sand a masterpiece should have complete control over its audience and it never lets go of that power well what else i have all of no idea what i want to be when i grow up and feeling that im already grown up i enjoy seeing growth and using my mind i love to solve puzzles things that have order and make sence i love to create totke nothing and make it into an idea to make art in the bland tasteless world we live in i love to show that there is still beauty in this world that there are still things all around us that make the world still worth living in that there is still enough in this world to keep the balence that even with all this shit arround us the terror the war the civil wars that keep these countries running war while a pestilence on ours species while taking away from the reason we are here is does keep us inventing it does keep us on the very edge of our a very dangerous double edged sword i have seen the pictures and read the stories just like you i have seen the pain we have caused and seen the good we have done but all in all i know that some day there will be no stopping what has been set in motion in all of the existance of all time there has been war there has always been a power in contorl that does things that others deem unfit by those outside of the cirle we hear feel that we know best we always have we see things different we see things wrong there is our way or the wrong now there are people that do things that are hurtful to other people saddam cut off peoples fingers hands then cauterizing the wounds so that they could be further torchered this is indecent to do to any human but who is to say that we can set up a new way right and how long before someone else comes in and sets up after we have gotten done solving all the problems there is too much to think about now all im saying is that we can never stop all the pain there is no way to undue all the hurt that this world has seen why can we all not just get along there is no way that we can ever get all of this worked out on our own enough about that i also love photography it lets me convey the beauty that is still left in the world even in the simple things i dont claim to know everything i know i dont even know very much but i do know that our world is chaos that i will go crazy to try and understand it and will end up letting itself work itself out i find that the more i study the world there is less and less sence by which to see the world we all skip around hoping that we land where we were made to some go on to greatness some make the world better for those around them some do nothing and others make it worse but i am me and all i can be there is no way to see the end of what has only begun and the setting of the sun says but only another day another place can come for us to fill our niche and we have but each day to do that which is required of us or to let the world pass unoticed niether decaying or giving birth to new life and a world in which we can all live may these words find you in good tidings great dreams and better company may you find what you seek and fly on the wings of angles to the depths of a soul long lost and forgotten good night and good luck pray for the grass and follow your heart MC